Solidea Micromassage Magic anti-cellulite pants

The Age, Saturday May 13, 2006

More magic

This image appeared in the fashion section of the Melbourne Age (Saturday May 13,2006).

The associated rather sceptical blurb reads:

 

GET THE LOOK

WHAT Solidea Micromassage Magic anti-cellulite pants, $49.95 plus postage.

WHERE Visit solidea.com.au or phone 1800 227 464

The Blind Freddy fact that newborn babies also have lumpy bums with a tendency to pucker and crinkle like orange peel appears to have escaped most of the Known Civilised World. And, although I am not a scientist and have only the most rudimentary knowledge of pediatric physiology, I see what I see and I'd swear on my liposuction nest egg that babies have cellulite too. Or the makings of it. Which makes you think - doesn't it? Cellulite must be a fairly natural phenomenon. Like arms or legs. It might also explain why cellulite is so devilishly difficult to budge without amputation. Or comparable treatment. Maybe it's not meant to budge. Maybe - like crow's-feet, thinning pates and south-travelling bosoms - cellulite had a hundred years of increasingly hysterical bum raps simply to fuel a growing global market for "solutions" to insoluble personal "problems". Maybe we're all suckers who should embrace our balding, wrinkled, orange-peel-puckered, southward-bound bosoms and bums and just be happy.

Or we could get some of these pants. They are called Micromassage because that's what they do. They're very tight (12mmHg compression strength) and schloop your big fat lumpy belly, thighs and bum in and up even before they start working on your circulation and cellulite globules.

JBB

12mm of Hg compression is about average for support stockings, and in my opinion is not very firm at all. I would be very surprised if the Playtex second skin LLPG, which costs half as much, were not considerably firmer. But then they don't claim to have any Magic -- they just do a good job!

 

You can learn more about them at their website. It is decidedly unexciting, with a few cartoons, but I couldn’t find anything remotely comparing with this illustration.

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